Looking at the calendar, I realized that WJ will be heading back to school soon..in less than 4 weeks! YES!! Not so much of a yes that he’ll be going back to school…but I’m so happy that we are surviving the summer. No major episodes, no tragedies, no upheavals. I’m getting to a better place. W is slowly getting to a better place. Compared to last year this time, when the life I had was unraveling. Compared to the summer before, when I notice W was behaving somewhat odd, but chalked it up to stress and a new job, and blithely assumed everything would work out just fine, just as we planned it to.
W becomes more like his post episode self slowly. Sleep is somewhat better…not where we would like it yet, but better then it has been. The depression is not as heavy on him.
My counselor has been a blessing in that he has been helping me refocus. Not to see things as ‘why me’ or ‘why us’, but why have I been placed here? What should I be learning in all this? I feel closer to breaking through this mirey, swampy mess of of thoughts I’ve struggled with since last summer. There’s more clarity the longer I walk through this.
It’s good to have a no-major-lifechanging-event summer.