Whine = wine

I guess when you have BP and also catch a cold, it gives you the license to be a completely self-absorbed @$$ for a week+. Even though people in the real world continue to have to LIVE in the real world, if you have BP well, then you get a pass. Because any sort of stress is excuse enough to just veg out and sleep and tell yourself it’s absolutely necessary; and heaven forbid someone should comment your lack of activity; well they just have NO empathy.  Being sick with BP releases one from the burden of responsibility such as:

Making sure your son is not standing out at the bus stop by himself.

Missing a counseling appointment (yet still being charged for it)

Forgetting to bring payment to a doctor appointment that you did manage to remember, thereby negating the discount you would have received had you paid on that day you were supposed to.

Sounding as pathetic as possible on the phone when you spouse calls from work (also fighting the same cold) to ask you to please run 2 errands.

When you manage to find time to interact with other, use it to critique spouses parenting style.

Sleep in past 10am on a Saturday while spouse runs errands with kids, cleans house, does laundry and makes dish for you to bring to a party. When spouse announces she will not be joining you at the party, be sure to give her plenty of passive-aggressive attitude while avoiding asking why she’s not joining you. Then come home and spend rest of the evening snoozing on the couch and, when awake, continuing earlier mentioned attitude. BONUS: Be sure NOT to offer to help in any way, either with chores OR children.

BONUS #2: Cough as much as possible when walking past said spouse.
This spouse tried to nurse her anger and resentment with some sangria this evening; sadly it didn’t do much. Wine would probably have been better, but since WJ decided he needed to stay up until past 9pm, I would not have had that window to get as truly hammered as I needed to be. So I just ate cookies instead and probably packed on another 5 pounds. Yay for BP! What a wonderful way to be in a committed relationship.


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