Moving Forward

Hello All! These week, compared to last, has been a vacation. Well, not literally, but it went much more smoothly as far as W’s moods are concerned. Although he was very sleepy, he has steadily become more baseline. His mood is up, his insight is better, and his appetite has returned. He’s still pretty shaky (probably the lithium), and drowsy, and not 100% with it (I’d say 70% with it:) , but overall he is very much improved.

The pdoc (psychiatrist) visit yesterday went well. He ordered some blood work to see how W’s thyroid is working. Apparently the thyroid, if it doesn’t do its job correctly, can have a large impact on the brain (something about neurotransmitters firing too slow). He also switched the daytime med for anxiety to another type W has taken in the past to alleviate some of the drowsiness. Otherwise he wanted to keep the meds the same, and give W time to recover.

He said each episode is good in that we learn more about W’s triggers and signs to look for that a manic episode is coming. I shared W’s fear that the pdoc would give up at some point, or that he would run out of options. Pdoc was very reassuring. He said he would never give up, that figuring out the right combo of meds takes time, and that it will not be like this for the rest of W’s life. He sounded confident that we would have W’s meds figured out sooner rather then later (later being 2 years from his initial bp diagnosis). All in all a good visit, and we will see him again next Weds.

A bit of a vent now….I had schedule W’s labwork for this morning, since the pdoc wanted it done before our next appointment.  I got W up early, reminded him we had to leave before 8, and went to start laundry. When I came back out, he was getting himself some cereal. I told him to STOP (he needs to fast, which he knew), and he said he had already eaten a bite of brownie. So we had to cancel this morning and reschedule for next week. Just annoying stuff like that gets to me. I need to stay on top of stuff because he’s not with it enough to do so himself, then I get frustrated because when I assume he’s with it enough to handle a little bit, I misjudge, and he wasn’t. 

Something similar happened with the medical paperwork and insurance. I’ve been so busy with my work, I hadn’t followed up with all the stuff we submitted. I had a nagging feeling we needed to contact them, but they prefer to talk to W. I asked him to call yesterday. He forget. I reminded him again and handed him the phone. Turns out they were missing the medical records from the pdoc. The pdoc hadn’t received the consent forms signed by W, so they didn’t send the medical records. So W’s approval for leave was held up, and we will not get a paycheck today. If they can get all the necessary paperwork soon, we should be reimbursed in the next pay cycle in 2 weeks.

It’s things like that, the everyday follow up on paperwork, forms, medical stuff, ect. that I seem to get lost in. It’s a lot to handle on top of my regular household and child duties, and I get so angry at myself and W when, in reality, you can only do so much in a day when dealing with a situation like we’re dealing with. I hate losing money (like overdrafts becasue I didn’t update the checkbook) that I know I need to give myself grace on becasue it is, afterall, just money, and God really does provide. We wound up getting an unexpected check from someone in the mail, as well as a small quarterly bonus from W’s job this week. Enough to keep us in the black for the weekend. It’s pretty tight sometimes, but HE always provides! Also, I am due for an extra paycheck today since we had a separate second book this month. So I need to relax and trust more.

Speaking of my job, I have some pretty awesome news!!! It’s still in the early stages of consideration, but, to my complete surprise yesterday, I emailed my boss asking about the possibilty of working full time for him…and my boss was VERY open to the possibility!!  (right now I’m just and independent contractor w/no benifits). This would be a HUGE answer to prayer, as he is about 40 minutes to where we wanted to move back to in W’s home state. To not have to go through the agony of searching fof a new full time job to support us would be a large weight lifted of me. And since I’ve worked with him for almost 6 years now, the transition would be pretty smooth.

So the wheels may be turning to get us to a new chapter in our life. It’s exciting to see how we are taken care of sometimes, although honestly, I’d be ok if things were status quo. But what a story I get to tell!

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