Welcome to my new blog!  Please check out my ‘About’ page to read a little more about why I’ve decided to start this, and to figure out my abbreviation system.

A bit of an update (since I’m tuckered out from setting this blog up tonight), and then I will sign off.

W decided to take off of work using his short term disability option last week. After making that decision, I have been thinking and examining what my hopes and expectations have been, and how they need to be adjusted for the future. After trying to work since later September 2011 following his hospitalization, I know my personal hope was that the medications would ‘fix’ everything, and life would get back on track, as in: W would work an 8-5 desk job, we’d work towards paying off our debt, save some money, and life would be good. I looked back at last summer (when W was hospitalized) as a catalyst for the correct diagnosis, and as an unpleasant ‘blip’ in our life as a necessary trial that served to correctly diagnose W.

Well, when W’s dr. told us about a month ago that his progress had actually stopped and was reversing, and when I saw W was rapidly declining in his mood after coming home from work every day (he was barely able to finish dinner before falling asleep for the rest of the evening), I began to realize that life could be heading in a very different direction then what I had anticipated. And once the decision was made for W to go on short term disability, realty hit me smack in the chest. Not only did I suddenly begin to have ‘chest flutters’ constantly, but I began to feel trapped. I could not think of any way out of what looked like a grim future: One where my husband would be on disability and unable to provide much support at all, and I would have to try and run the house while supporting it financially and raise 2 kid, basically on my own…

But God does not abandoned His children, and through the overwhelming support and kindness of W’s family, we were reassured that we are loved and supported and would be cared for no matter what happened. I was given a much needed break from all my worries, and had some time to myself to rest and be pampered and restored after an incredibly tough 12 months. It was truly a Godsend.

So I wrap up my first post with a sense of hope that was not present a week ago. I’d be lying if I said all my worries and fears for the future have disappeared, but that is a process that takes time. Just a little bit of hope is what is needed to make it to that next step, and my heart has been encouraged. It still also flutters, but I trust that will subsided soon. 🙂

My intention is to update this once a week, perhaps on Fridays or Saturdays, so check back weekly if you’re curious about how things are progressing!


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